Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment

Your past is a tricky thing. It has shaped you, made you who you are today. If it was difficult or painful, you can't just cut yourself off from it. However, to be healthy, productive, and successful, you can't stay stuck in it either.

One thing we need to realize is that we were born into this world with an empty brain, or "blank slate." From then on, we began receiving "programming" from our parents, teachers, church, peers, community, and media. So, a large part of our past is our programming.

This leads us to our first tip. As adults with free will, we need to choose healthy, positive, healing, motivational, and inspirational programing. We need to begin reading books and listening to audio and watching movies/shows that convey the value of the human spirit and focus on the potential of mankind. This may seem awkward at first because, even though your past programming is negative and painful, you are familiar with it and even feel safe with it. But over time, you will become comfortable with positive programming. You will feel happier and you will like yourself -- which will lead to more productivity and success.

Another thing we need to do to get a handle on our past is to put it into perspective. THE PAST IS OVER. Also, most people consider their past to be their childhood and their adolesence. OK, let's say that's 18 years. Nowadays, most people live to be 70 or 80. So that's only 1/4 (or 25%) of your life. As adults, we can CHOOSE to program ourselves with positive input and make the remaining 3/4 (or 75%) of our lives healthy, happy, productive, and successful.

A third thing we can do is to change the meaning or interpretation we give our past. When our past seems overwhelming to us, we are usually saying things in our minds like, "I've failed then so I'll fail now," or "I'm damaged goods I'll never amount to anything."

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!

You could just as truthfully say, "I learn from my past. My past taught me what NOT to do. My past challenges and trials made me stronger so I can face the real world today. I went through what I did so I can help others," and so on.

We don't really "get over" our past. What we do is take steps like the ones listed above to keep it from messing up our present and our future.

So, let's get a handle on our past:

*Acknowledge it for what it was -- no better and no worse.

*Put it into perspective -- it's over, and it was only a small part of your life anyway.

*Apply an interpretation or meaning to your past that works for you, not against you.

*CHOOSE positive, healthy, inspirational programming. Read good books, listen to good audio, watch good TV, and socialize with positive people.

DO THIS. Your past does not have to equal your present or YOUR FUTURE.