Love, love is strange, a lot of people take it for a game
Once you get it you never wanna quit, after you've had it, you're in a awful fix
Love is Strange (Dirty Dancing)
FOR some men, it seems as if reason goes out the window the minute they think they are in love. Below are some sure signs that the man is too wrapped up in love that he "can't see for looking".
1. Put her through college, when he can't even read himself
Love has him so consumed that he can't even spare a thought to his own improvement, he will instead focus on the needs of the woman he loves. It doesn't matter the risk he might be taking, that after all that, she could walk away from the relationship.
2. Cut off friends and family
The term 'love is blind' would be apt in this case as he will literally turn his back on his friends and family if they dare to criticise or point out some unpleasant truths to him about the woman he loves.
3. Marry in haste
Marry in haste; repent at leisure... that's the situation a lot of men find themselves in because they were too hasty in trying to make it down the aisle. The rush of hormones temporarily blinded them to the real deal, and by the time sanity returns, it's just too late.
4. Uproot from stability just to suit her
The carefully mapped out plans for his life is thrown out the window for the chance to be with that special someone. She can convince him to put his plans on the backburner while she forges ahead with hers.
5. Getting into debt because he just can't say no
The word 'no' doesn't seem to have any place in his vocabulary when it comes on to her needs. He will sink himself into debt just to ensure that all her wants are met. Never mind that he can't afford to satisfy her every whim.
6. Watching Lifetime and soaps
It is almost the norm to find women hooked on soap operas and Lifetime channels, but when you find a man really getting into them too, chances are he is just trying to impress the woman in his life about his 'sensitive side'.
7. Jeopardise his marriage or leave his decent wife for a 'skettel'
He has a wife that many men would envy him for, she is devoted, loving and is there for him in every way... yet somehow the attraction for the loud-mouthed, non-ambitious woman proves too much for him to resist.
8. Go to church
When all else fails in getting the committed Christian women, some men will pretend they have now 'seen the light' by going into church. There is only one purpose in mind for this move - to win over the woman they are wooing.
9. Pretend like crazy
When a man wants to impress a woman, he will do all kinds of silly things to achieve this goal. He will drive his friend's car and pretend it's his and take her to his cousin's house and brag how he managed to acquire it so early in life.
IN order for any love relationship to survive, there are some vital elements that cannot be overlooked or taken for granted, one such element is romance. Quite often, romantic fires don't keep burning by chance; they usually take lots of time, effort, fanning, planning, and yes, some creativity.
Relationship experts, sexologists and psychologists have been touting for years, that couples who want to keep the fire burning should make every effort to communicate well, engage in regular sexual activities and have proper control over their finances, since communication, sex and finance can be three troublesome areas in marital relationships.
While I agree that these three areas can cause some amount of tension when they are not handled properly, I also believe that romance should be right there up on that list, as sex is different from romance and is crucial to the survival of love relationships. But like I often say, without creativity the fire shall perish.
It is true that many relationships perish not for lack of money, but for lack of creativity. However, I also believe that with some creativity and these three romantic ideas, some sparks could be ignited and some dying fires could start burning again.
1. Take lovemaking out of the bedroom. There is no rule that says the only place for loving is in the bedroom, why not consider some other rooms? Also remember that you have the outdoors. A good time to remember the outdoors is moonshine night, or if you don't mind getting wet, on a rainy night.
2. Make that fantasy a reality. When it comes to romance, lots of people have fantasies, but they refuse to share it with their partners. The only way to make your fantasy a reality is to share it. Your partner may just surprise you and give you the day and night of your life. Why not plan a fantasy revelation day, when all you do is reveal fantasies and have them fulfilled? Note though, if the fantasy is too much for you to bear and you are not able to fulfil all of it, you can make minor adjustments and try to see what you can do, before you run the risk of biting off more than you can chew. Before you reveal, you must know for sure that the revelation won't hurt you.
3. Host a romantic competition. Why not host a romantic competition where only two can enter -- you and your partner? In this competition, each person must take turns planning an evening of romance. Each partner should give a score out of 100 for the evening planned. Next, tally both scores. The person with the highest score should get to choose his/her gift. I don't think I need to tell you what type of gifts you should choose.
Look at it this way, one could suggest romantic ideas to keep the fire burning by telling you what to do with milk and honey, fruits, nuts, and vegetables, or what to do in the sea, train or in the aeroplane or even suggest that you climb Kilimanjaro right up to the peak, go skinny-dipping or bungee jumping; but that would defeat the purpose. What is important is not that you just make use of another person's ideas because your creative idea is the key. You will be more successful when you think about what would please you and your partner and then come up with your own creative ideas to suit your taste and style.
Whatever you do, please do not to be boring, because boredom and 'same old, same old' is a threat to marital fulfilment.
TO YOUR FAMILY? WOULD YOU PURSUE A RELATIONSHIP WITH WOMEN LIKE THESE? LET ME KNOW PEEPS !
In a story yet to hit the web, the Enquirer reports that the possessor of reality televisions finest wide receiver is now hooking up with Dallas Cowboys pass catcher Miles Austin.
Kardashian invited Austin to attend an NBA Finals game on June 6, only they didnt sit together. (Fun!) Though they later did dinner at Casa Vega in Los Angeles.
Excerpt:
Kims carving out more time in her schedule to be with Miles, and shes telling those close to her that hes the one.
Now for the scary part: (No, no Khloe photos.)
Her mom, Kris, is hoping Miles is the right guy as well. Kim turns 30 in October, and her mother is pushing for her to get married and start a family before too long.
For all we know this is yet another planted plot for the Keeping Up With The Harpies reality charade.
But as Austin is a non-sequitur name and there are specific dates and locations in the report, I have a tendency to subscribe to the veracity of the story.
Big Post By Me....It Long But Worth Reading 10 secrets to successful relationships |
Those who have found their soul mates will tell you, that marriage and long unions that survive test after test, are based on little known principles that surpass mere love - and includes things like trust, tolerance, the ability to compromise and change with the times; and the ability to be committed to building a future together despite all the odds.
While much emphasis is placed on fixing the various causes of the breakdown of relationships - on healing broken hearts and broken marriages; on moving on after one, two, 10 heartbreaks - not much is said about those who have made their relationships survive, and indeed, those who are best able to tell the keys to making them work.
You don't need a psychologist to tell you what you need to make year one, two or three work, it's common sense. But you do need the advice of the experts to tell you how to get past the tumultuous years and into the happily ever after - and who best to say it than those who've experienced it?
This week, by popular demand, All Woman takes a look at sustainable relationships, with tips on how to keep him/her happy; how to get past the pitfalls; and how to get past the naysayers and have your love last - perhaps into eternity.
1. A kiss after every fight.
This will create a bond between you and your spouse. Even after a fight, a kiss goodnight will ensure that you do not go to bed mad at each other. This might sound simple but as they say, 'it's the small things that count'.
2. Forgiveness.
Do not allow the little things to get in the way. Arguments will occur but forgive your spouse. Then do number one. Note: do not say things you will regret just out of anger. Sticks and stones may break your bones and words do hurt. They hurt more than the sticks and stones.
3. Take a breath.
Try not to take things too seriously. Everyone is different. Do not let the little things that are not offensive get to you. Just live a little. Ignore his annoying habits and kiss her when she is nagging.
4. Give them space.
Encourage their dreams. Do not try to cloud them and cloak them. Give them the space to make their own decisions. No partner likes to feel alone in a relationship and if you do not encourage him or her, then they will feel like they have to pretend to please you and find someone else who appreciates them.
5. Keep your identity.
Do not change who you are. Your spouse loved you for who you are, changing into something else is erasing the person they first fell in love with.
6. Be grateful.
Never take what your spouse does for you for granted. Show them that you are grateful so they feel appreciated.
7. Do not be picky.
Try not to make an argument out of little things. Do not ask too many emotional questions. Give him some breathing space.
8. Show that you care
Even though it might not be you 'style', sometimes you have to do something special to show you care.
9. Listen to each other.
Everyone has something to say, do not push your opinion on another person. Listen and respect your spouse's feelings.
10. Sex.-You cannot have a happy marriage without any sexual encounter. If you wanted to be celibate you should have stayed single. You got married to enjoy life, enjoy it every night if you can
MAKING the transition from being single to being married can be quite a challenging experience, especially if the couple has been living the single life for many years. The man who is accustomed to throwing down his clothes on the bed when he returns from work or remove his socks and leave them on the sofa in the living room, will have to remove them forthwith or face his wife.
The same applies to the woman who is used to going about her business without consulting with anyone. In her new status, she must share her whereabouts with her husband to avoid any suspicious thoughts.
The following are some of the changes that both persons would have to consider if they wish to make a smooth transition:
1. Meals
If as a single woman you don't cook unless you are in the mood, this practice may have to be curtailed in order to accommodate your husband's desire for a cooked meal, maybe everyday. If, however, as the single man you are accustomed to cooking up a storm, it does not mean you cease this practice the moment you get married. Carry on with the cooking if you are both comfortable with the arrangement.
2. Housekeeping
Washing clothes and cleaning the house are two household chores that as single people you either do yourselves or you engage the services of a day's worker. In your new status, either one or both may have to take up the responsibilities as there might be a need to save some funds. The key is that both husband and wife must share the work equally.
3. Friends with benefits
As a single male you may have had many female friends, some of whom you may have flirted with. In your new status, "things you used to do, you do them no more". So you may have to stay clear of some of these women to avoid the temptation of engaging in an extramarital affair. The same advice is applicable to the newlywed woman.
4. Nights out
Friday nights is when you'd go to the nightclubs to cool out with friends. But now that you are married and your spouse is not a "club" person, how do you please your wife and your friends at the same time? You are going to have to make some decisions as it relates to new entertainment activities. You may consider going to the theatre with your wife instead and negotiate with her for a once a month lyme with the guys.
5. Night owl and early bird
One of you may prefer to be up all night either surfing the 'Net or watching TV, again, this you may have been doing ever since you moved into your own place. Your partner, on the other hand, may have been an early riser and believes it is waste of precious time to be in bed beyond 6:00 am. Again, some amount of compromise must be made so that the night owl may take an early night occasionally to appease his/her partner and engage in some quality time as well. The early bird may need to stay in the roost a little longer to also engage in some quality time.
6. Neat freak and the untidy one
Over the years, as a single person you may have kept a neat pad, where everything was in order. Then here comes your beloved who is quite the opposite -- who places the dirty socks in the same drawer as the clean ones. His argument is that a pair of socks can be worn for two or more days. As a married couple it is hoped that each one will influence the other and that they both will coexist allowing for compromise on both sides.
ONE of the battles single women have to fight is the struggle with sex, and what role it will play, especially if coupling up is something they don't want, ever, or something they're not quite ready for. It's an issue for the woman who is single and Christian, where religion dictates that she remain sex free until marriage; for the woman who is single and not a Christian, but who believes in sex only in a committed relationship; and for the woman who is single, has no moral hang-ups about sex, but doesn't want to sleep around.
How do they deal with sex and being single?
Sex is such a common feature in movies, music videos and books today that not getting some form of 'action', forces abstainers to come across as an oddity.
This is the case for 39-year-old Andrea Johnson, who has not been with another man since separating from her husband in 2005. She yearns to experience that union between herself and another man again, but the conservative churchgoer has vowed never to engage in the act until she remarries.
"The Bible says that you should not commit adultery and fornication and sex out of marriage is wrong," she said. "So I have been living for four years without sex."
Her decision to abstain has been far from easy. "It is very difficult because your nature at times wants to take its course," she said, adding that she keeps herself busy so that she is not tempted.
But while Johnson's religious belief has been the primary reason for her decision, 21-year-old Natalee D has no such reservations about having sex with a guy outside of marriage, even though she is yet to experience that union between herself and another man.
The university student said her decision stems from a genuine need to hook up with someone who appreciates more than the physical aspect of her.
"It's not that I wouldn't do it, but it has to be with the right person. When I meet the right person, then I would actually give it up," she said. "You can't just give away something that's sacred to you just like that, it has to be with somebody that you care about in the end," she added.
For psychologist Dr Leachim Semaj, these women are making one of the best decisions ever.
"In the short term, there are a lot of positives to gain," he said. "Nobody can call their name, they are not in any mix-up and they don't get in all the emotional drama associated with the whole casual relationship scene. And clearly, they will be getting no sexually transmitted diseases."
He believes sex is a by-product of a positive and loving relationship although many have come to view it as something as common as breathing or having a drink.
"Once you separate sex like that, you now degrade it from what could possibly be the most powerful form of communication between two human beings," he said.
Given the current state of the Jamaican dating landscape where casual sex and not a relationship with substance is the order of the day, the psychologist said those who engage in casual flings usually live to regret it.
"People talk about sex as if it is an all powerful entity, but for many women what they end up getting out of it is a waste of their time," he said matter-of-factly.
While there is no doubt in her mind that her decision to abstain until marriage is best, Johnson yearns for the pleasure the act used to illicit in her when she was legal to enjoy it.
"Sex is the greatest thing on earth, it is not dirty," she said, before stating, "But you can't just get up and have sex just like that."
Twenty-two-year-old Anika Bell has no doubt that sex can be surreal if shared with the right person. But being a devout Christian, she has vowed that she will never give herself to anyone, besides her husband whom she is yet to meet.
"I don't put myself in a position to actually do it. There has been times when I came close, but I actually came to my senses," she said.
But what about the urges? This is the question that is often uppermost on the minds of those who have no sexual hang-ups. It is certainly a question Johnson has heard on many occasions and she is the first to admit that they do exist.
"I have good church friends and when the urges come upon me I call them and we chat and have a good laugh about it," she said.
Dr Semaj said these urges to engage in sex are but temporary and can be controlled. "We as human beings; we are not so deprived that sexual urges are so powerful that they would cause you to do all sorts of irrational things. A lot of our sexual responses are learnt," he said.
He further added that getting involved in other activities usually causes one to forget about these urges.
"Whether it is your schoolwork, whether it is your occupation, whether it is your profession, whether it is your own personal training, whatever it is, there are many other ways that you can use that urge and turn it into something creative," he said.
ONE of the prerequisites for happily ever after is a man who is decent in the bedroom, who has skills that will enable him to switch between the hardcore or über-romantic when you ask.
The hard part in ensuring that you're not stuck with a 'p**s in bag', is knowing how to discover beforehand -- that is before you invest your heart and time into a relationship -- what the signs are that your prince-charming-in training is a fake.
Guess what? You don't have to worry. Believe us when we tell you that there are ways -- physical signs to look for -- that will tell you whether he's a stud or a dud. And while there are a few men who don't fit the mould, our combined vast experience in the field leads us to be quite definitive about the information below. So get your notepads out, and start checking 'em off.
1. His fingers: If his fingers are long --especially the index fingers, he can manipulate your body in ways you could never imagine! Short fingers? Well, let's say he may have to make up for this in other ways. Also look out for fingernail grooming when picking your guy. A guy with long fingernails isn't too keen on good hygiene, and you surely don't want any surprises in that department!
2. His lips: If his lips are on the larger, juicier side, not only is kissing more fun, but so will other pleasures as well. Thin-lipped men need to work extra hard. But watch out though. A man who is a habitual lip licker is as useful as a man who brags about his prowess -- he'll disappoint.
3. Facial hair: Men with thick moustaches or heavily bearded faces may be able to cure your itch in other ways, but when it comes to kissing and foreplay, things can get uncomfortably scratchy. In fact, while a few women may find facial hair attractive, the Moses look can be rough on the skin and results in discomfort during lovemaking. And no lady wants to give the impression that she spends her nights catfighting.
4. He's a sloppy dresser: If he won't take care of his appearance, then chances are he won't take care when it comes to pleasing you. A sloppy dresser doesn't take time to make a good impression on the world, neither will he take the time to please you. On the other hand, a man who is too spiffy, or who cares too much about mixing and matching will be too self-absorbed to be interested in you or your pleasures.
5. Watch his body language: If he's too timid to meet your eyes, or is shifty and fidgety, then he'll be a fish out of water in bed, and more than likely will have commitment issues. Sure, shy guys can be tigers once they get comfortable with you, but don't confuse shy with shifty.
??????? WATS UR TOP 10 SEXIEST R&B CHICKS ???????
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
FROM time to time we women are confronted with issues that no one seems able to answer. The questions may range from 'Should I feel threatened by his ex?' to 'Why hasn't he proposed after all these years?' Often in our quest to seek answers ,we turn to the wrong persons and are burdened with the wrong answers.
This week, counselling psychologist Jacqueline Champier steps in to offer the answers to some of your simple but most burning relationship questions.
1. How do I keep my man from annoying me with his lousy habits?You cannot stop him from being annoying, but you can change your attitude towards him and those habits. Always seek to find ways around the issues. You can't change him, so change yourself.
2. How important is it to get along with my mother-in-law?
It is very important that you get along with your mother-in law. Even if your partner never talks about it, he prefers if you get along with his mom. It can put a strain on the relationship when 'wifey' and mommy cannot agree.
3. Why hasn't he proposed after 'seven years and three kids?'
There could be many reasons for this. It could be that there is not enough money and he wants a big splash. He may not understand how important it is to you and he can't see what the marriage fuss is about. He may love you as a 'baby mother' but cannot see you as his wife. He may be staying with you because of the children but he has his ideal woman outside. It may also boost his ego to know that he has the ring and you are dying to get it.
4. He still e-mails his ex. What does that mean?
The ex is a good friend and he values her opinion.
5. I went to UWI, he never finished high school, can it work?
It will work in a few cases. If it works for you, consider yourself an exception.
6. What's the best way to break up with a guy?
It depends. It is best for him if you tell him to his face that things are not working out and you have to move on, but it is better for you if you tell him when he is not in a position to hurt you, since you can never be sure what he might do to you upon hearing. A letter is a good way if you are concerned about your safety.
7. He has a b!$%hy 'baby mother', what's my next move... Can our relationship survive?
Yes, the relationship can survive, especially if you have no dealings with the 'baby mother'. Your next move would be to make sure that your man understands himself that you plan to take care of the child with as little dealings with the child's mother as possible.
8. How can we make a long-distance relationship work?
Communicate as often as possible, remain faithful to each other and plan to eliminate the long-distance business at the earliest possible date.
9. Is it true that he will cheat again if he cheated before?
No. This is not true. Some men hurt from cheating just as much as you do and pledge never to do it again.
10. What's the best way to get over him?
Immerse yourself in some activity that you like and plan to improve yourself. Make sure that you are all the better without him. Find what makes you happy and work towards that goal.
11. He's younger, I'm older. Can it work?
Sure it can work well. He might be young but very mature. Lots of young men are great lovers who adore older women.
12. Should I tell him how many men I've slept with/should I ask him?
Never, never, never, never. Why should you kiss and tell? This can be a grave mistake that can come back to haunt you.
13. Is he husband material? How will I know?
If he displays the qualities that you are looking for in a mate then he could be husband material. You can know if you don't rush the relationship, the truth has a way of coming out.
14. He's jealous. What do I do?
A jealous man is never easy to deal with. If he is just a boyfriend let him go and get regular counselling or take a hike. Haven't you heard, jealousy is rotten to the bone? (Bible)
15. I'm jealous, how can I deal with it?
Find out the root cause of your jealousy. For example, are you insecure? Do you have low self-esteem? Do you fear your man will leave you for another woman? Does the sight of him with another woman make you sick? Is it a learnt behaviour? Sit with a counsellor and identity the reason and then it will be much easier for you to plan how to deal with it.
Most women do not seem to be content with the size of their breasts and would love to have them increased in size if given a safe and natural option to do so.
Though breast augmentation or surgery is an option, there are not many takers and very rightly so. Surgery is not just outright painful but is also quite expensive. It can easily make you shell out something like five to six thousands dollars. Side effects of such surgery can include loss of sensation in the nipples, infections etc., It is also quite common for women to experience hardness in their breasts after breast augmentation. As such, this is a method that is best avoided.
Though you might find it surprising the best way to increase the size of your breasts is a bust serum that is a highly advanced and new innovation. Such a serum is absolutely safe and can ensure an increase of a cup size within a few weeks. Not only this, it can also help uplift and firm your breasts without any side effects.
If you are wondering, how a simple serum can do all this, let me tell you that it contains of a natural ingredient called Mirofirm. It is extracted from a herb called P.mirfica that is cultivated in Thailand. It is so effective that it is also being called the Elixir of Youth. This is largely because it has some amazing anti aging properties.
Mirofirm helps strengthen the milk ducts. Not only this, it also stimulates and expands the fat tissues in your breasts which is what helps your breasts grow in size.
One of the most important anti aging properties of such a bust serum is that it can help remove wrinkles form the bust area and thereby help you get more youthful breasts. Moreover, this all natural ingredient is also highly effective in relieving menopause symptoms.
Such a serum is clinically proven to work and does not have any side effects. It is also dermatologically tested and does not create any sort of irritation.
However, pregnant women or nursing mothers should not use it.
DOES your man seem hardly interested in sex these days? Yes you read the question right, as although it has always been held that men are sexual creatures, always up for a quickie no matter the location or the time of day, men can sometimes go from hot to cold in the bedroom for a variety of reasons.
So is your once sex-craved man now a workaholic or worst yet, a couch potato who leaves you wanting some good loving? The big question now is, what do you do when you are hot for some bedroom romping and your man is not? Well, we've got some ideas, tips and techniques that will have you guys shaking things up between the sheets in no time.
For your couch potato
1. Show him something he won't get on television: If your man finds watching television more appealing than you, then it's time to show him why you can rival any sports star by giving him a strip tease. After showering him with a few spicy kisses, lead him from the couch to the bedroom, where you can give him an action-packed lovemaking session that will rival any satisfaction that watching sports can give.
2. Give him a sensuous massage: A massage of his most erogenous zones will have him craving you in no time. Start with his neck and back while he's watching television, and then alternately suckle and kiss his other weak areas such as his ears and neck to prepare him for some serious loving.
3. Take him to the brink and back: Make it extremely difficult for him to say no to you, by going braless and then gently brushing up against his hands while he is not paying attention. If he seems interested, play with him a bit before giving in.
4. Get him thinking about sex: Strutting your stuff in five-inch stilettos and going half-dressed around the house is one of the best ways to get him off the couch faster than you can say "meet me in the bedroom". The more you walk pass the television screen, the hotter he will get and when he does, make sure you are ready to help him cool off.
For the workaholic
1. Accessorise his home office: Does your man spend more time in his home office than in the bedroom with you? Well, you may need to take the action there instead. Get out your most daring outfit and make yourself very comfortable in his office chair. Make sure to dim the lights, just to add that element of surprise when he gets in, then show him just why he should be working on you rather than crunching figures.
2. Pay him a visit on the job: Turn up to his workplace one day in a respectable suit covering a raunchier undergarment. When both of you are behind closed doors, you can give him a quick peak of what is under the suit you have donned. He'll more than likely want more than a peek, but just advise him that there is more in store at home.
3. Send him some steamy e-mails: Make it extremely hard for him to concentrate at work through the day by sending him some steamy e-mails detailing exactly what you want to be done to you when he gets home. We guarantee that he'll be coming home much earlier during the days after receiving a few of these e-mails.
4. Help him get his work done: Some men really do have a lot to handle at work, making it difficult for them to put their needs above the work of the company. Assisting him to get his work done in the quickest amount of time will no doubt give him more time to spend with you, satisfying not only his needs, but yours.
For the man who has become bored
1. Engage in steamy foreplay: Contrary to popular belief, men sometimes want more than a quickie. They want to spend time really making love to you and to have you touch and caress them in return. So before jumping into bed, make sure you spend a little time getting him in the mood. Don't be afraid to touch, nibble and caress him even while his clothes are still on.
2. Reaffirm him as a man: Maybe your husband has been shying away from sex because he feels he is getting too old to please you. It's your job as a wife to reaffirm his manhood. If he suffers from erectile dysfunction, you can let him know that he is still desirable by trying other techniques that don't require penetration.
3. Try new positions: Maybe he has lost interest in sex because you refuse to do anything besides the missionary position. Wake up, this is the 21st century. Visit a toy store or buy yourself a copy of the Kama Sutra and test out some of those moves.
4. Mend the relationship outside the bedroom: When there is tension in the household, it can prove really hard for your man to be interested in sex, especially if you are having marital or other problems. Mending your relationship outside the bedroom is important in spicing up your love life under the sheets.
GONE are the days when women were afraid to voice their needs and men -- maybe not being sure how to satisfy their women -- would only ensure that their needs were met.
Now both men and women have come to realise that good lovemaking is not solely dependent on the touching of body parts, but on setting the mood as well. Here are some things that can help to make lovemaking enjoyable, fulfilling, and leaving your partner coming back for more.
1. Set the mood: Setting the right mood for lovemaking is very important as it helps in the relaxation of both persons, while bringing more passion and desire to the act. The right mood can be set by soft, soothing background music, the soft sound of raindrops or even the addition of scented candles to the room. Also, mildly-scented air fresheners and flowers are good for creating that perfect mood.
2. The right time: While men are, for the most part, always ready to make love on the spot, this is not so for women. With this in mind don't expect that a woman who just completed laundry and a day of hectic housework will just hop into bed and make hot, passionate love. Women make love with their minds and if she is burdened mentally, it is hard to expect much out of her. On the other hand, a happy, contented woman will drive her man wild. Therefore pick your time carefully.
3. The right atmosphere: Creating the right atmosphere is very important. Communicate with her often, let her know just how much you appreciate her. Little random gifts say a lot. Also help out around the house; leave her little naughty notes during the day that will have her blushing until she sees you in the evening. If she is at work, send her an e-mail or instant message teasing her and building the desire. Let her know how much you desire her and how much you want her.
4. Smelling right: Ensure that you both smell right. There is no bigger turn-off than bad odour during lovemaking. While bathing, take care to wash your ears, armpits, thighs, joints, and genitals thoroughly to ensure proper hygiene. Shave the armpits and hair on the pubic region and on and around genitals. Use lightly-scented soaps and body washes that will leave a pleasant scent.
5. The right lighting: While some persons prefer making love in the dark, dim light can give the feeling of real romance. This can be from candles placed strategically around the room, a coloured bulb or a night light. Bright lights can make persons uncomfortable especially if they are not quite comfy with their bodies. However, having some light will make you fully aware of how much your actions and reactions affect your partner, which is an added turn on.
6. Wine and chocolates: For wine lovers, drinking a glass while you dance with your partner while soft music plays in the background will give an adrenaline rush. This helps you to get close and cosy. Add chocolates to the mix and you are sure to have a heated session of lovemaking. Chocolates ar said to be an aphrodisiac.
7. Foreplay matters: If you start with full sex, you are more likely to get bored after a short time. While the sex may be fulfilling, it will be nothing to remember. Initiate with a little touch, small pecks on the lips and intense, tight hugs. As you get in the mood, hit the bed and explore each other even as you get to know every inch of your partner's body -- not only with your hands but with your lips and tongue. Remember, lovemaking is an art that not everyone can master, but if you know the right way, you will keep your partner coming back time and again.
Erotic Instructions:
WHILE many men get aroused fairly quickly and without much stimulation, women take longer to get going. Many men don't understand this, and so there are many women who have yet to experience the thrill of getting their moan zones covered by their men.
If you're one of those women, show this page to your man so he understands how to reach for the less-than-obvious body parts and ensure your satisfaction.
The nape of her neck
Though very few men focus on the nape of the woman's neck, gently touching and kissing this area will make her reach dizzying heights of pleasure. This part is also the best place to start kissing if you still have your clothes on and you want to tell her how much you want her at that moment.
Her collarbone
Unbutton her shirt just a little and stimulate her collarbone with your touch. Create circles with your tongue and give her love bites there, just to tease and remind her of how much you want her.
The small of her back
Place gentle kisses and stroke your tongue down the small of her back and down her spine. It will definitely get her in the mood for more.
Behind her knees
Behind the knees are packed with sensitive nerve endings, so you can gently caress the back of her knee under her skirt while the two of you are in a public space as it is sure to get her excited by the time you get home.
The palms of her hands
Believe it or not, this is a very sensitive area on a woman. Run your fingers along her palm as that will make her feel relaxed and ready for the sexy rendezvous ahead. Then make small circles there and watch her eyelids dilate with passion.
Her earlobes
Touching, kissing and even gently biting her earlobes will send her into a sexual frenzy, as this is one of the most erogenous moan centres on a woman's body. If you want to excite her even more, simply nibble around the outside of the rest of her ear as well, but don't put your tongue inside her ear. That's a major turn-off for some women.
Foot massage
There's nothing more seductive than a foot massage. It will help her relax, while getting her in that ready mood. Add some massage oil or lotion to the mix and you will have her weak. Try adding light kisses to the mix and have her moaning.
Her inner thighs
Touching a woman's inner thighs without touching her private parts is the most sensual tease that is sure to get her all charged up. Employ your hands and mouth to caress and kiss. The excitement that women get when touched in this area is mostly because of the many nerve endings found there.
Her breasts
Most men are already aware that next to the vagina, probably the most sexual part of a woman's body are her breasts. Women like their breasts to be gently fondled and gently squeezed. Licking and sucking on the nipples turn women on more than you can imagine.
Her lips
A good kisser can turn a woman on by kissing her gently, then long and hard. Kissing tells her how much you want and need her.
WANT to know if your man is a real gentleman or just half of one? If you're dating a man and he's not a real gentleman, over time you should be able to tell, because no matter how much he tries to pretend, there will be some telltale signs that will uncover his true colours. Yes, there will be some signs, like the ones listed below.
How he treats his mother: The way a man treats other women, his sisters and especially his mother will speak volumes about the kind of person that he really is. If he treats his mother with disdain, chances are he doesn't know any better. If he does not have the know-how or the finesses to be gentle with a lady, he will not be able to pretend for long. Look at it this way, gentleness is not something that you can copy overnight; you either have it or you don't.
How he drives/behaves in traffic: Have you ever watched how some drivers behave on the road? Some are so uncouth that it makes you sick. If a man gets really upset and nasty on the road, even for minor offences and if he is always rude and boisterous to other motorists, how can you overlook this? The character that one displays when he/she is angry is a good indicator of the type of person you are with.
How he solves conflicts: A gentleman should be able to solve conflicts without exhibiting any rude or disrespectful behaviour. He should be able to listen, communicate and understand, even when dealing with disagreeable subjects. If he is going to rant and rave, or get mad and ugly just because he is annoyed, upset or working through a conflict, you tell me, is he a gentleman?
How he speaks: Listen carefully when he is speaking. Does he bad-mouth others? Does he uses foul language without any apology? Are his words cold and icy or are they warm and gentle? It is "from the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks".
How he treats people: How a man treats people in general will definitely point to how he will treat you. Why should a woman believe that a man who is disrespectful and rude to others will be respectful to her? If a man shows you from all angles that he is not refined, and if he is being less than a gentleman to others, then please, like the Jamaican adage says, you should "take sleep and mark death".
How he grooms himself: A man's general grooming style says a lot about who he is. Look at how he keeps himself; it doesn't take lots of money to be neat, clean, and well groomed. A gentleman will take pride in his grooming.
How courteous he is: Does he say, "Please", "I am sorry", and "Thank you"? These are words and phrases that we are taught from kindergarten, yet it is amazing how many people don't ever use them. A gentleman should have these as a part of his vocabulary, and he should use them appropriately when necessary.
How others view him: This may sound like a simple matter, however, it is not. If he is a gentleman, you are not the only person who should know. Others should be able to tell as well. If he is crude and mean-spirited, he may be able to hide it from you for a while, but trust me, those looking on from the outside can help you to know.
A word of advice: Don't pull out your hair trying to find out if he's a gentleman, just open your eyes and look, the signs are there.
So youre ****ing your girlfriend, getting into a good solid groove, and while youre banging away, theres thissound. Sort of like a fart. But it came from her p**sy. Should you be grossed out? Should you hold your breath? What just happened? Youve been queefed. Theres a lot of misunderstanding and misinformation about queefing. Lets clear up some of the confusion so you can get back to enjoying your girlfriends p**sy.
Clearing the air
First of all, lets dispel a common misconception about p**sy farts, or queefs - namely that they are as foul, smelly, and disgusting as the flatulence that comes out of your ass. The term p**sy fart is really inaccurate; a queef isnt so much a fart as it is more of a p**sy burp. The nasty, stinky gas that comes out of your butt is the byproduct of food fermenting in your digestive tract. A queef is caused by fresh, clean air getting pushed or sucked into the vagina and then pushed out again. It gets pushed in by the penis during sex, or by a dildo or vibrator if the woman is masturbating.
Because the air is originally coming from outside the vagina, a queef will only smell as foul as the p**sy it comes out of. So if your girlfriend queefs and its really smelly, maybe something crawled up her snatch and died. Of course its also entirely possible for a woman to queef and pass intestinal gas at the same time, but the likelihood is pretty slim.
Queefs can definitely sound like farts, from a nearly silent pfft to a blasting frapp or a pfthbbbth that flaps the meat curtains. This can be disturbing or embar****ing to both a woman who queefs and the guy who is ****ing her or eating her out. But queefs are really nothing to be ashamed of. Really, they just mean that youre having good, vigorous sex. In some cultures, its considered good manners and a compliment to your host if you slurp your soup loudly or belch. It shows youre enjoying the meal. Try to think of queefing in the same way.
When a queef happens during sex, most men (and women) try to act as if nothing happened. It can make guys embar****ed and women self-conscious. But you might as well acknowledge it and laugh about it or take it as a sign of encouragement and go at it even heavier. Have some fun and see if you can get her to queef again and again.
Some women can queef spontaneously without the assistance of a male partner or dildo. They do this by sucking air into their vaginas. Sometimes this happens unintentionally during exercise or something, especially when doing that bicycle exercise where you lie on your back and pedal your feet in the air. Doing headstands and shoulder stands can also make it happen, so its fair to guess theres a lot of queefing going on in yoga classes.
How to queef
For women who want to queef at will, we recommend the following technique. Get completely undressed from the waist down. Lie down on your bed or the floor (the bed will probably be more comfortable). Put your legs up in the air and spread them. Reach between your legs and spread your labia apart with your fingers so you feel the breeze on your p**sy. Relax your pelvic and vaginal muscles as much as possible. It may help to do a few Kegel exercises, where you clench and hold your vaginal muscles and then release them.
When youre ready and relaxed, roll back on your shoulders and raise your legs up higher and spread them wider. Push down with your pelvic muscles. Inhale deeply, then exhale sharply from your diaphragm (the diaphragm in your ribcage, not the diaphragm in your p**sy). The forceful exhalations will help suck air into your p**sy. Repeat this several times and you may queef in the upright position. Otherwise, try it until you feel like you have some air in there and then quickly bring your legs together and lower them. This should produce a queef.
How to queef with a partner
The best sex position to produce queefs is doggy style, with the woman putting her head down on the bed and her ass up in the air. She should spread her knees widely and try to relax her pelvic muscles as much as possible. The guy should pump forcefully, pulling out all the way or nearly all the way on each stroke to get the maximum amount of air introduced into the p**sy. She should be very wet, so use extra lube if you need it. As you ****, the air will repeatedly build up and get forced out, producing queefs. Try experimenting with different angles of penetration and thrusting rhythms to maximize your quee@#$e.
If youre feeling like doing some yoga or acrobatics, any position that gets the woman upside down will work well too. She can do a shoulder stand and have the guy get on top of her and lean on her legs, or hang her upper body off the edge of the bed.
To get her to queef during oral sex, put a pillow under her butt to elevate her pelvis. Spread her legs out and relax her pelvic muscles and vagina. Dont blow into her vagina! Blowing directly into the vagina can be dangerous. Sticking your tongue up there is fine and may help, but ultimately she will probably have to suck the air into her vagina using the diaphragm exhalation method above.
With a little practice, she should be able to whistle Yankee Doodle, or at least fire off a good run of !@#$ trumpet blasts.
THOUGH men often get a bad rap for being cheaters, a number of women are guilty of an even worse crime -- getting involved with the man, knowing fully well he is already in a committed relationship.
While many are willing to play the role of the other woman, others are keen on making the full conquest and won't stop, until they get the full commitment.
And some, singing the Lady Saw anthem, even go around declaring 'I've got your man', when they finally snag a fellow who belonged to someone else.
But if he cheated with you, will he cheat on you?
Is this the type of relationship that you can put your trust in, or will you always be on edge, wondering if he will leave you for someone else just as he left someone else for you?
Counselling psychologist Lola Allen-Jones said whether or not the woman can really trust a man like this is dependent on the situation she is in, and why she got into the relationship in the first place.
If she just snagged him for what he can provide, she may not care about what happens in the long term. But if she snagged him from someone else, hoping that he might cease straying when with her, she may be in for a surprise.
"For some women it's not about love or trust, [it's about what they can get out of the relationship]," Allen-Jones said.
As a result, there is no concern that the roles will be reversed and these women become quite comfortable in the union and will even play by the man's philandering rules.
"Sometimes the man will give her everything she needs and because this was her reason for being the other woman, she will not think about the lack of love or trust," the psychologist said.
On the other hand, there are women who are genuinely in love with the men they cheated with.
Julia McDonald, a Jamaican married to a US Marine, said she fell in love with her now husband five years ago, even though he had a live-in girlfriend who was pregnant at the time.
"Weeks after I heard she was pregnant, I got pregnant too, and I told him he had to make a choice," McDonald said. "He went back to her for a while and stayed until she had the baby, then he came back to me and stayed until I had my baby. A few months later he proposed to me."
She said she felt bad at the time, because she understood what the other woman went through.
"The stress of finding out that he had the two of us pregnant sent her into early labour. Our children are just a few months apart, and though it has been five years, I know she still hates me," McDonald said. "But he made his choice."
She said all is not roses in her household though, as she lives in fear constantly that her husband will cheat.
"I know why he married me," she said. "He told his ex that he was choosing me because I was the one who was 'less likely to cheat'. He chose me because I would make a good wife, and she's pretty and was always causing him stress with other men being attracted to her. So I'm no fool. I know that he is still attracted to her, and to women like her, so I worry."
She said her fears were confirmed when, weeks before their wedding, her husband slept with his ex while visiting their child.
"I forgave him. What could I do? Cancel the wedding? Now I know that the probability of him cheating is high, because he didn't marry me for love. So I snoop and I worry and I wait for him to come home each night. I do it because I love him, in spite of everything else."
There are other women, who, even while understanding what stress can come from committing to a man who cheated, still get involved, and live for years as the woman on the side, waiting.
Thirty-year-old Lavine Rose said she has been in her present relationship for close to four years and knew what she was getting into from day one. He was living with a woman for a year and a half prior to meeting her and he had no intention of leaving that woman.
"It used to bother me," she explained. "I used to want him to leave her and questioned why he refused to. But he is not the type that would up and leave her if she does nothing to hurt him. She knows about me and it bothers her, but she is not leaving him either. But to tell the truth, I can understand why she wouldn't."
She added: "He makes it difficult for me to leave him. He takes care of me and my son in every way. He is a very good partner. My son goes to a prep school and every term he pays his school fees and ensures that he has lunch money every day! He is paying my way through college, he furnishes my house, he pays my plane fare to travel ... I am not in need of anything!" she said. "The only problem I have is to get more time with him, and he makes up for it by spending a lot of time on the phone with me. He calls me every chance he gets."
Rose explained that her main reason for having confidence that her man won't cheat with anyone else, is not the material things she gets out of it, but that he is satisfied with their relationship and his work schedule does not permit time for him to think about anyone else.
"Nothing he does is questionable. I am very much comfortable with him and he doesn't lie about the woman he is living with," she said. "I guess you can't have it all. When you have a single man he treats you like trash and then when you find the good one, he is involved."
 |
DO you take love for granted? Do you often operate in a nonchalant, haphazard manner, or do you spend quality time to nourish and cherish each other so that your love can reach the heights that it was meant to? Be honest, who in a relationship doesn't long for deep passion, intimacy and romance? Which man or woman wouldn't want to be taken on 'highs' even momentarily, visiting other blissful worlds and experiencing the true meaning of oneness? After all, isn't that's what love is all about?
The triangular theory of love is a theory developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg. Sternberg posits that the three components of the love triangle includes the following:
1. Intimacy: Encompasses feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness.
2. Passion: Encompasses drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, and sexual consummation.
3. Commitment: Encompasses, in the short-term, the decision to remain with another, and in the long-term, the shared achievements and plans made with that other.
Sternberg said that the amount of love one experiences depends on the absolute strength of these three components; the type of love one experiences depends on their strengths relative to each other.
Different combinations of the three components will lead to different forms of love, as specified below. No means that the element is missing and yes means that it is present in your relationship.
Too many couples settle for empty love, which has no passion and intimacy but only has commitment. If you are currently experiencing only companionate love, all is not lost. You can find ways to rekindle the passion and you can learn how to be really intimate, so that you can eventually experience consummate love, which is the ideal form of love.
|
No New Posts | 
|
New Posts |
|
Topic is Closed | 
|
Sticky |
