VIDISHA (MP): In a rare case, a woman in a village gave birth to a girl, only three months after she
delievered two pair of twins.

"It is an example of secondary-pregnancy which happens very rarely, but is not totally unexpected," Dr Abha Shukla of district hospital said.

The woman identified as Niloufer, a resident of Gazikhedi village in Vidisha district, gave birth to four children on January 19 this year.

 "The twins died soon after their birth," Inamuddin, the father of the children said.

Later during a sonography conducted on Niloufer, presence of more foetus was revealed.

She was referred to Bhopal's Sulatania Hospital, where she gave birth to a baby girl on April 26.

"Due to excess weight, one of the foetuses might have slipped in the fallopian tube and grew between the intestines. She was lucky that way," Shukla added.

The newborn is now over one month old and is quite healthy, Inamuddin said adding that they have named their daughter 'Faria', a person who brings cheer in life.

'It can't go on' - Two killed in Kingston, three in St James published: Thursday | May 29, 2008 Mark Beckford, Staff Reporter A member of the Major Investigation Task Force holds his colleague as he skips over bullets and other forensic evidence on Prince of Wales Street, central Kingston, following a shooting incident yesterday. In the background, other sleuths record their observations. - Peta-Gaye Clachar/Staff Photographer Murders continued yesterday with a brazen afternoon attack where seven persons were shot, two fatally, at 25 Prince of Wales Street, near National Heroes Circle in central Kingston. Dead are Margaret Campbell, 26, of 38 Heroes Circle, and Lenroy Moreland, 23, of an unknown address. The shooting drew a heavy contingent of police and a large crowd of onlookers. Persons in the crowd expressed shock at the incident and called for the authorities to do more to put an end to the killings. "It can't go on so no more," said one man. The police reported that about 4:30 p.m., a group of persons were sitting at a cookshop when a white motor car drove past. It was reported that the car then reversed, two men got out, pulled guns and fired several shots at the patrons. Member of Parliament for Central Kingston, Ronnie Thwaites, condemned the shooting and called for the police to increase their presence in the community. "The people are traumatised," Thwaites said. According to him the community has been tense since two previous shootings on nearby John and Wild streets. Meanwhile, three more murders have been added to the St James police list, pushing the tally since January to at least 70. Badly decomposed At 7 p.m. on Tuesday, the police were summoned to a crime scene in Kempshot, near Granville, where a badly decomposed body, believed to be that of a male, was found in a ravine about 100 feet deep. An on-the-spot post-mortem yesterday concluded that the man was hit on the head with a blunt instrument. Almost two hours after that discovery, the police were called to the scene of a double murder at Rose Heights. Gary Allen, 30, otherwise called 'Bessy', and Randal Stewart, a 45-year-old mason of Rose Heights, were both shot dead while standing along the roadway. More than 600 persons have been killed in the island since the start of the year. Western Bureau reporter, Noel Thompson, contributed to this story.

Thursday, 08 May 2008

The Lesbian and Gay Federation in Germany (LSVD) says it has been told by the country's Interior Ministry that Jamaican performer Sizzla will not be granted a special visa for his proposed European tour this month.

Information reaching RJR News is that German officials have convinced the EU visa office not to give the singer entry to certain countries because of complaints that Sizzla has songs in his repertoire that meet that country's legal criterion of "incitement of the people".

A spokesman from the German gay rights group said Miguel Collins aka Sizzla Kalonji calls in several of his songs for the murder of gays.

The release said Sizzla's name is now in the Schengen information system, with the consequence that he does not receive entry in specific EU member countries.

The Schengen Agreement between 29 nations on the continent of Europe provides visas that allow free movement across their borders.

The gay activist group claims the German Interior Ministry has bowed to pressure from them and that legal measures for the prevention of Sizzla's entry in the Schengen zone have been taken.

Draw single cards in a Draw Three game

Everytime you flip the top stack of cards, hold down CTRL-ALT-SHIFT and instead of flipping three card you only flip one card. This way you can draw single cards but still have the higher score of a ''Draw Three'' game.

Alt+Shift+2   Instant Win

Infinite Points

In the Windows XP version of solitaire, draw from the deck at least twice. Hold control and drag a card down from the deck. Click the "A" key and then let go of the left mouse key. You will get 10 points for this. Continue doing this for infinite points!

Move a card to an illegal position

Use the left mouse button and drag a card onto any legal position, just as you normally would, but do not let go of the left mouse button. While holding the card over the position, hit the Escape key once, then release the left mouse button. Now left click once on any face-up card at all and it will teleport to that position. You may also use the space bar and directional arrows to do this, however the final click to teleport the card must still be done with the left mouse button.

 

 

It has been estimated by various studies that 70% of women fake orgasms at some point in their sexual lives. Some fake it very regularly -- as in every time -- while others  only do it sometimes. 

The psychology behind faking it is simple: She isnt going to have an orgasm this time, and she knows it. She cant be bothered with a) you trying hard to satisfy her and prolonging the encounter, and b) you feeling bad because you couldnt satisfy her come hell or high water. 

If you want to know if you are being duped, use the following signs that she really is having an orgasm to distinguish the faux from the bona fide, and catch her in the act.

Retraction of the clitoral head

This occurs just before orgasm and provides you with a clitoris-sized hint. When the clit disappears, youre on the right track, so dont stop. This coveted disappearance of the clitoris isnt only visible if you have the lights on and your face all up in it; its something you can feel as well. So, get yourselves into a position where you can easily rub her clitoris during sex, and use it to your advantage. Under the guise of giving her some extra special treatment, you can feel whether shes actually close to climaxing or just faking. 

Increased breathing and heart rate

Listen to the sound of her breathing in your ear: When it starts to get heavier, youll know youre onto something. The change will occur reasonably swiftly when she is about to orgasm, and will be accompanied by a completely unconscious change in the tension, rhythm and pace of her other body movements. Liars and the truthful alike might cl**tch at you and moan and groan, but her breathing is the missing link. Her thumping heart will also be a sign that its for real; if she isnt actually excited, her heart rate and bodily manner will be very ordinary. 

Dilated pupils

Dilated pupils are another surefire sign that your girl is reaching her peak. This might be hard to tell in the dark, but if the lights are on, all you have to do is ask her to look into your eyes as she climaxes. Chances are shell be more than willing to oblige to that romantic request. Just make sure to make note of what her pupils looked like at the beginning of your romp so you can compare their difference in size at the end.

Red lips

This means both sets: Her mouth lips will go a little redder (lips swell and redden upon arousal), as will her vaginal lips. While you are penetrating one set of lips, try to feel the swelling in the other set of lips that youre kissing. Be careful though: Kissing will also increase the redness of her lips, so be gentle with pecks so that you can get an accurate reading of her response level.

Vaginal muscle spasms

Muscle spasms are the biggest indicators of all because she cannot fake or hide this. During orgasm, she will have between 3 and 10 vaginal and cervical contractions, the first few being the strongest. They will grip your penis, and the tightening feeling you experience will be impossible to ignore. 

Sudden perspiration

Hot, sweaty sex? Yes, please. Breaking out in a sweat means her body is at a high level of tension and her muscles are working overtime -- her breathing, heart rate and *lo** pressure are all up. So, once you both collapse into a sweaty heap afterward, youll know shes been pleased.

other important signs

• She may arch her back and feet, have uncontrolled twitches in her limbs (during and after orgasm), and have uncontrolled facial expressions (aka her orgasm face).
• Check her cheeks and neck to see if they are flushed.
• Of particular importance is what she does immediately after sex: Does she leap right out of bed and get on with her day? Or does she go to the washroom and lock the door? The chemical effect of an orgasm on the body brings a dazed look to the eyes and she may just want to laze for a few minutes to enjoy it. If she is missing this post-coital bliss, be suspicious.  
• Her nipples will also harden; it has been estimated that there is a 95% chance that if her nipples arent hard, she didnt orgasm.
• Her clitoris gets very sensitive right after orgasm, so if she doesnt slow down or stop completely after her orgasm, she is probably a faker.
• Making coherent sentences far too loudly is also a clue to her (dis)honesty; she shouldnt really be able to say anything much other than Oh my God! if the job is getting done to standard. Anything remotely porn-like is highly suspicious (loud over-exaggerated moaning, etc.) because porn sex is not real sex.

Penis captivus is an urban legend describing an event that allegedly happens in rare instances during heterosexual intercourse when the muscles in the vagina clamp down on the penis much more firmly than usual, making it impossible for the penis to withdraw from the vagina regardless of erection status.

The first report of the penis captivus sexual phenomenon can be found in an 1884 article by the fictitious Egerton Yorrick Davis in The Philadelphia Medical News. The article was later discovered to be a hoax perpetrated by Sir William Osler. Historians speculate that he was annoyed by an editorial published in the same journal by Dr. Theophilus Parvin, "An Uncommon Form of Vaginismus." Both men served on that respected journal's editorial board.

There is only one known report of penis captivus, in a letter to the British Medical Journal relating to an apparent case in 1947. According to the BMJ, this condition was otherwise unknown in the twentieth century.

Penis captivus should not be confused with the relatively common condition of vaginismus.

Despite the concerns raised about the size of the squad, 29, named to begin preparation for Jamaica's World Cup qualifiers, technical director René Simoes expressed confidence that he will find what he is looking for and that the team will take shape.

Questions have been asked about the absence of a classy defender in the squad as well as a truly creative midfielder with the ability to unlock a defence. These are among the areas he hopes to have figured out by the end of the camp.

"The last time we had more time to qualify the team so there was more time to select players, but this time we have to look for one libero (sweeper)," said Simoes.

"I don't like to play three defenders. I like to play one sweeper and two stoppers so we have to look for that. What I heard is that Simon Ford can play like that, Richard Langley, I understand, can also play there and that Keniel Moodie can do it too. We have to find that player in under one month, we have to fix that," he said of the troublesome sweeper's position.

Fight for places

While Theodore Whitmore ruled the roost in the national team in the run up to the 1998 World Cup, Andy Williams was often the player trying to unseat him in that creative role and according to Simoes, Williams' recall is to possibly fill that void.

"I am hoping that Andy Williams can fit that role. We are also hoping that Jermaine Johnson has matured more and will be able to play that role as well. We also have good information about Lee Williamson so let us see what he has," explained Simoes, indicating that players will have to fight for their places.

Even with the competitive nature of the camp, Simoes said he still expected a harmonious relationship among his players.

"I think the players are happy because some of them play together. I know it will be harder this time because it is a competition and everybody will want to be in the squad," he said.

New approach

On the question of other players being left out of the squad at this time, Simoes cited a past experience as a reason not to comment specifically about any players' weakness or reasons for not being invited.

"I have taken this new approach where I do not make much public comments about players' weaknesses because I had a very disappointing and ugly experience in Trinidad and Tobago. Once I did not like what I saw about players and I wanted them to improve on certain weaknesses, and I said it but it did not go down well," he stated.

"I wanted them to work on their weaknesses and after that they could become available to the squad. It went down terribly. After that the players improved and afterwards became a part of the unit but the damage was done in the team so this time I try not to make public comments about specific weaknesses of players," he explained, while indicating that some players still had a chance in the future.

MADISON: Two children and their mother lived for about two months with the decaying body of a
90-year-old woman on the toilet of their home's only bathroom, on the advice of a religious "superior" who claimed the corpse would come back to life, authorities said.

The children - a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy - cried hysterically on Wednesday after a deputy who came to their home in Necedah looking for Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth ordered them out because of the stench from her body.

The children were in foster care on Friday. Their mother, Tammy Lewis, and self-described "bishop" Alan Bushey remained in custody on felony counts of being a party to causing mental harm to a child.

"It's a sad case, and we'll continue to investigate it and try to ascertain just what occurred up there," Juneau County Sheriff Brent Oleson said yesterday. He said he had no further information on Bushey's religious affiliation.

According to the criminal complaint, Middlesworth's sister called sheriff's officials Wednesday and asked them to go to the home about 129 kilometers north of Madison to check on the woman, who had not been heard from for some time.

When Deputy Leigh Neville-Neil arrived at the house, she encountered Lewis, also known as Sister Mary Bernadett, the complaint said. Lewis, 35, initially refused to allow the deputy to check on Middlesworth, telling her that Middlesworth was on vacation and saying she had to check with her "superior" first.

But she eventually let the deputy in. The house smelled of incense and burned wood, and had religious materials everywhere and hymns playing on the stereo, according to the complaint.

Teen sisters murdered christina&lisabrown.jpg19-year old Christina and 17-year-old Lisa Brown were brutally murdered on Tuesday at their home when three men entered the premises on Henderson Avenue in Kingston and sprayed them with bullets. The sight that greeted onlookers upon entering the room was Christina's lifeless body laid in a relaxed position with one of her legs on the window sill, while her sister was shot dead as she crouched with her hands over her face behind a chest of drawers. This would indicate the teens were begging for their lives as they met their demise. The girl's mother, Donna Brown broke down and sobbed uncontrollable for her daughters even as church sisters tried to console her. According to police reports the men were armed with 9mm pistols and they entered the house from the rear and shot the two sisters, then fired at their father before escaping in a gully behind the premises. Mr. Brown escaped injury. It is also believed by investigating officers that one of the sisters is intimate with a man accused of being involved in a triple murder the week before in another community. The men came in search of that man and when he was not found they killed the two sisters instead. Posted by yardFlex at May 29, 2008 10:46 AM

P Diddy has been in the mix with MTV as far as TV shows go for some time now. now with upcoming new shows with T.I. and currently announced a new show with Bossman 50 Cent , today MTV also said that they will be doing a new spinoff with the mogul P-Diddy. The upcoming show "Making The Rock Band" will take on the basic structure of Diddy's other show, "Making The Band," only with the Rock genre.

According to Rapbasement.com, MTV's programming leader Tony DiSanto said "our main goal is to always pull the rug out," "If something is working great, we don't want to do it again, we want to do something new. Our viewers expect us to keep evolving, genre-busting and taking chances."

BULLETS rip into a crazed elephant that rampaged through a village yesterday, killing seven people and injuring 24 more.

More than 100 shots were fired at the terrified animal and one wound can clearly be seen in its back, circled.

The rogue male emerged from a forest and began destroying crops in Bhudaheda, northern India.

Villagers tried to frighten it away with drums but were trampled under its feet as it became enraged.

Wildlife expert Belinda Wright said: The elephant was surrounded. It couldnt bear all these people and became wild.

NINJAMAN CRITICISES BUJU BANTON AND JR. REID ninjaman.jpgWhat a way Ninjaman mash up the Buzz on IRIE FM the other night when him start criticize Junior Reid and Buju Banton fi a buss fight as icon inna the business because it just nuh look right. Him mek the show nice because him all a crack joke say him like IRIE FM because no fight caan bruk inna the studio, when mi hear that, mi laugh so till mi bellybottom cramp. But why him ah talk about an issue like this when him buss tjhe biggest fight inna the history of dancehall wid Vybz Kartel at Sting 2003?

Konshens Lashes Out Against Fake Rastas By Kon-Vick OutAroad.com Writer Dem a nuh Rasta - Dem a Ras Hair, Talk this loud mi nuh fear konshens_naturalbridge_dancehallartiste.jpgJamaicas fast rising star, Konshens is in the spotlight again, and this time there is a bit of controversy surrounding same. The deejay who burst on the scene with the mega hit Winner (This Year Mi Affi Be Di Winna), has launched an assault on people who wrongfully associate themselves with Rastafarianism. In some nail biting and rather witty lyrics Konshens chastises artistes that natty up dem head. Already there are words on the street that several Rastafarian individuals are pondering whether or not he (Konshens) is throwing words at them. Here are some of the lyrics that will have some artistes sweating: Mi si nuff a dem a natty up dem head fi get exposure, But a real Rasta Man nuh run down riches like Dover, Dem impersonating Rasta, But mi Rasta friend dem seh bun up a Rasta imposter Natty up dem head fi ketch a hype up, Seh dem a rasta, but Rasta livity dem nah hoist up, Wha kind a food that dem a bite up, Dem seh dem a Ras, what kind of girl that dem a wife up ReadMore-color.jpg According to Konshens, he was inspired to write the song Rasta Imposter after several persons approached him with the argument that he should become a Rastafarian as it was the easiest way to buss. They were also of the opinion that I sounded like a Rastafarian on several of my tracks, Konshens explained to OutAroad.com. OutAroad.com took the time out to write the lyrics for this smashing single so that you, our readers, can get familiar with this hard-hitting track. You can also tune in to our media player at the top right to listen to the song. Here goes the chorus: But mi nah Ras fi sell nuh cd, (and mi nah) - Ras fi guh pon tv, (and mi nah) - Ras fi get nuh airplay (no mi nah) - Ras fi get di payday (so mi nah) - Ras fi sell nuh cd (and mi nah) - Ras fi guh pon tv Mi nah turn Rasta fi shot a Europe, Renta dread fi move up.

SOUTHAMPTON, N.Y. As dusk settles on a secluded Long Island beach and bartenders and waiters set up for another of the high-profile benefit parties that dot the summer social calendar, a dumpy, five-foot-four woman in a sleeveless, black tank top and short, black skirt is the first guest to arrive. Her name is Denise Frank and she is the Hamptons newest celebrity.

I wouldnt dream of giving a beach party without Denise! said Muffy Lawrence, one of the events organizers. Shes more effective than DEET or citronella.

Frank, twenty, is a lightning rod for mosquitoes. They love me! she said. They prefer me to anyone else.

Frank discovered her attractiveness to mosquitoes as a toddler when she was playing in a sandbox and came home covered with red welts, even though none of her friends got bitten. For years, Frank tried to avoid mosquitoes.
           
I stayed away from stagnant ponds, puddles, tropical environments and beaches particularly at dawn and dusk, Frank said. But after my high school prom, everyone went to the beach and the party went on till sunrise.
           
At dawn the mosquitoes came out, and Frank, once again, was bitten. Everyone else escaped.
           
With no college plans, Frank was looking for something to do when one of her friends jokingly suggested she hire herself out for al fresco parties. Her first gig brought her $100 for a nights work. Now she has formed a business called Mosquito Gal and charges $150 an hour.
          
All I do is go to parties and wait for the mosquitoes to bite, she said. Then I go home and take antihistamines to reduce the itch and swelling so I can get ready for the next party.
           
Even with antihistamines, Frank can only do three parties a week far less than the demand for her services.
           
Im hiring, she said. Im looking for a couple of people who are attractive to mosquitoes. Theyll have to pass an employment test, which is to visit a swamp with me and see what happens. If mosquitoes go for them, theyre hired.
           
Though Mosquito Gal is an equal-opportunity employer, Frank said that she would prefer to hire women because they can wear skimpy, open clothing to parties and expose more skin.
           
After the summer social season winds down, Frank is planning a vacation. Im going to the Yukon, she said. 
           
However, after buying her non-refundable tickets, Frank learned from one of her clients that the Yukon has large, biting flies.
           
If theyre drawn to me, Frank said philosophically, maybe Ill open a branch office.

A HOMELESS woman who sneaked into a mans house and lived undetected in his wardrobe for a year was arrested in Japan yesterday.

The woman was only rumbled after the man became suspicious about food mysteriously disappearing from his kitchen.

Police found the 58-year-old woman hiding in the top compartment of the mans wardrobe and arrested her for trespassing, police spokesman Hiroki Itakura said today.

Puzzled

 

The man had installed security cameras that transmitted images to his mobile phone after becoming puzzled by food disappearing from his kitchen.

One of the cameras captured someone moving inside his home after he had left, and he called police believing it was a burglar.

However, when they arrived they found the door locked and all the windows closed.

"We searched the house ... checking everywhere someone could possibly hide," Itakura said.

"When we slid open the shelf closet, there she was, nervously curled up on her side."

The woman told police she had nowhere to live and first sneaked into the mans house about a year ago when he left it unlocked.

She had moved a mattress into the small closet space and even took showers, Itakura said, calling the woman "neat and clean."

-- Edited by littlemisslinkz at 18:56, 2008-05-30

My Answer is i love god for providin me with all these beautiful ladies and all these new modern technology

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Well, just try to relax. When you kiss her, do it with confidence. If you can keep a confident feeling in your head, it should go just fine. Don't take her by surprise. You can touch her face and maybe start by kissing her on the cheek. Always make sure you have soft lips. If you don't, use chapstick daily. Actually a little chapstick when you are kissing can help your lips slide over hers easily. Or, at least wet your lips a little before kissing. It is definitely easier for me to tell you what NOT to do. Don't go right into frenching. Ease into it from a regular kiss. When you go to use your tongue, don't "point" it, keep it flat and don't dart in and out. Does that make sense? Don't be too forceful or use it too fast. Be soft and gentle. Also keep your saliva under control. Make sure you are not giving her any of it! Start by just placing your tongue on hers or running it under her top lip (again, flat). Don't leave it in her mouth too long! Just use it and pull it right back and end with the regular peck kiss. Do a "pulling peck kiss", use your tongue a little and pull it right back with a very slight sucking motion on her lip. Does this make sense? Do everything pretty slowly, not fast. Also, use your hands while kissing her. Don't underestimate the power of that. Touch her face or run them over or in her hair. If the kiss gets more intense, pull her to you. Don't stay stiff, move a little to get into it. You can also kiss her on her neck and under her ear. A trick that usually works to build some excitement, is to kiss her on her neck and cheek then brush across her lips (don't kiss them) to the other side of her face and neck. Keep doing this until you are both dying to kiss on the mouth. This is a great tease. Relax, and good luck!

http://www.sendspace.com/file/jip3dq

(Originally posted @ www.WestIndianTimes.net)

Buju Banton and Jr. Reid we know are great performers, even though Buju did not get to perform too long because he let his new talent 'New Kidz' have some time. Well, after the performance, in the press tent, Buju was doing his thing and Jr. Reid also came into the tent and when Jr. was about to leave I hollered out to him that I needed shots of him and another media house said the same thing. So Jr. Reid turned back and as he was coming coming back in, Buju was about to leave. As they passed each other

Buju extended his hand in a greeting to Jr. Reid and Jr. said "No, mi nah shake your hand" and Buju responded "OK Jr. Greed." Then Jr. got upset and called Buju a batty bwoy. Buju looked at Jr. Reid in disbelief and said "Ah dat you ah call me? Batty Bwoy? and Jr. Reid said "Yes, an you can guh suck yuh maddah." Buju moved towards Jr. Reid and Jr. Reid began to move toward Buju and that was when the media personnel moved in and there was a scuffle whilst making sure that there was no fight.

It was best of the best with a question mark. What will next years Best of the Best bring because this year was most certainly not the Best of Anything! - Backstage Eye Witness Dawn Johnson!




-- Edited by Crazypickney at 12:37, 2008-05-30

A PAEDOPHILE cop was jailed for two-and-a-half years yesterday after being caught when a colleague posed online as a girl aged 12.

Married David Geering, 48, had been a detective with the Metropolitan Polices Homicide and Serious Crime Command.

But all the time he was a child sex pervert trading hundreds of vile images with other sickos.

A number of photos featured the most extreme kind of child abuse.

Geering was found to have taken indecent photos of two kids himself.

He used the false name Nigel Robotham to cover his tracks but was nabbed when he made internet contact with someone he thought was a 12-year-old girl.

It was actually a fake identity assumed by officers from the Met Police Paedophile Unit.

Three of his computers were traced to an internet cafe in Londons Victoria district, an address in Hertfordshire and a property in Spain.

Checks with other forces revealed Geerings evil trade in images of kids.

Geering was jailed at Londons Southwark Crown Court on 20 counts of distributing indecent images of children and two counts of taking indecent images of children.

The cop of 27 years was convicted last month.

Det Supt Sue Knight of the Mets Child Abuse Investigation Command said: It is a reminder to paedophiles that wherever they go and whatever their occupation, the Met will track them down.

10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome

I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. Thats why women cannot shut their f**king mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.

9. Men are not sponges

Women are social chameleons or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it theyve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if theyve joined a f**king cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isnt one because sheep is something men are not.

8. Women are racists

Womens entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and f**k definitely. Men dont go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If were dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift f**king mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.

7. Men live less than women

The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!

6. Men write illegibly

Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they dont give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.

5. Jesus was a man

Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you cant argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. Thats called dogma man-dogma and it means men are better than women.

4. Men wear watches

Do you know why men wear watches? Its because theres a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women dont wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.

A watch says, Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your f**king man business! Thats why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. Important shit is going down and were about to talk about it in a f**king fastidious manner, so get the f**k ready, says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, Youre most likely ugly, but look at how much money youre worth! What a joke.

3. Boys destroy things

The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-w**** and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, thats awesome!

2. Marriage is stupid

Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to f**k the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldnt f**k. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that theyre f**king obsessed with it.

Marriage is still stupid. Its a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.

1. Men have penises

When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact its tantamount-ier. Having a penis in other words looking like a man and having man parts is a mans way of telling other men, Hey. Look at me. Im a man. I wont f**k up whatever it is that youre trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and Ill see if I can lend a man-hand. Its the least I could do to be f**king courteous.

MEN DO U AGREE?!?!?!?.......i sure do

-- Edited by sub0 at 20:02, 2008-04-20

-- Edited by "STAINLESS" at 17:36, 2007-04-29

Media family what u think about people having sex any where there want it

uno know say mediazone a di best but which one a them site u think betta
which one get more ratings??????????????????

-- Edited by sting at 22:34, 2008-03-01

di way how unnu girl love talk bout howm man fi set it right n know how fi do dem thing good inna bed suh let mi ask mi u something supose unnu n unnu man a agood relation n him cyah perform good inna bed would u leave n mi wah a honest reponse

Top Ten Things Only Women Understand
10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.

9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off white.

8. Crying can be fun.

7. Fat clothes.

6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.

4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.

2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.

1. Other women!

OMG
    She almost chopped his wig (head) off!!
 Subject: FW: DON'T CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE! -


 . ...
 Emilo Savez was critically wounded when his wife, in a fit of rage, attacked her husband with a wood axe, lodging it in his forehead. The 36 year old father of three was rushed to St.Vincent's hospital when his frantic wife called police after swinging an axe into his face. Apparently Maria Savez caught her estranged husband in bed with the family housekeeper, and in a fit of rage ran to the garage and got a wood axe, then proceeded back to their bedroom.

Once there a struggle ensued, and Mrs. Savez ended up on top of  her husband, then swung the Axe and impaled Mr. Savez in his forehead.

Shocked surgeons spent six hours removing and  repairing the damage from the axe, and surprisingly Mr. Savez  is expected to make a full recovery.

Minor brain damage to the front temporal lobes is expected, but Mr. Savez is expected to be able to lead a normal life once his wounds have healed.




If that isn't a HOLY SH*T moment, I don't know what is!

Best of the Best was boring

It was not a pleasant sight for onlookers who witnessed a confrontation between Buju Banton and Junior Reid at the Best of the Best show held in Miami on Sunday, May 25.

Both entertainers and their respective management teams are tight-lipped about the backstage confrontation.

When contacted, Jarrett, a member of Junior Reid's management team said, "I cannot confirm anything about anything." He said he would first have to speak with Mr Reid. However, when THE STAR called back, his phone rang without an answer.

In the meantime, eyewitnesses have leaked their versions of what they say transpired.

According to one source, it seemed as if the two (Buju Banton and Junior Reid) had been carrying some ill feelings from before.

ALBANY, N.Y. -- If you see $2.05 on the gas pump, look again before you celebrate -- the total price is likely double that figure.
State Agriculture Commissioner Patrick Hooker says the price of fuel, now over $4 a gallon, has risen higher than pumps can calculate in some cases. Stations with non-digital fuel pumps can apply for half-pricing since older equipment can't compute prices higher than $3.999.
Signs advertising gas prices must still advertise the full price per gallon, but the price on the pump would be half that price. A sign on the pump would explain that the actual sale price is double the total amount displayed.
The half-pricing would be temporary, until the station received new computers.
The problem results from a national shortage of replacement computers.

Five sex questions with Miss Chin from MBC - "Suppose him d*@k can't stand up?

Who would have guessed it? The Killer and Rihanna heading into Club Xtreme in Barbados hand-in-hand.

OutAroad.com recently received hordes of emails from fans across the Caribbean who wanted to know if there was something going on between the two. According to an informant, he could not believe what he was seeing when he saw Bounty Killer walked into the club holding hands with Rihanna.

She left the show and partied with Bounty Killer at Club Xtreme in Bridgetown until daylight. Rihanna held hands with the Killer as she entered the club and spent the whole night whining with him and whispering in his ear as if they are a couple in love, there must be some romance going on between them, he said.

Earlier Beenie Man and Bounty Killer who were the headline acts for a show held in Barbados recently both gave stunning performance but it seems as if Bounty Killer performance won him a date with pop star Rihanna.



http://www.outaroad.com/2007/10/bounty_killer_and_rihanna_dati.html#more

-- Edited by Crazypickney at 14:17, 2007-11-02

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) Kevin Whittaker and Cory Jens deserved a hand after their record-setting attempt, but they probably didn't want to shake it. The pair sought to set a new world record Monday by shaking hands with one another for 9 1/2 hours, apparently beating the previous record set by two Germans by a half-hour.

The Guinness Book of World Records still must confirm the feat, one that Whittaker, 31, and Jens, 30, felt pretty confident in achieving.

"I looked up what some of the weakest records were," Whittaker said. "I'm not going to break the 100-meter dash record, but I thought I could break this record."

The rules from Guinness appeared easy enough: Handshakers are not required to look each other in the eye or exchange pleasantries; they simply must grip palms and continuously move their hands up and down.

The historic day began at 2:07 p.m. outside the Ferry Building, where the duo endured the discomfort of such issues as sweaty palms, arm cramps and, of course, bathroom breaks. By nightfall, the two decided to continue their quest for greatness at a hotel bar, where they found warmth, comfortable seats and alcoholic beverages.

The effort culminated at 11:38 p.m. with a bottle of bubbly and some much-needed space.

"It's not that fun, believe me," Whittaker said. "I'm a little tired. My shoulder is tired. In fact, it's extremely painful."

An unidentified man is lucky to be alive after falling into the path of a subway train near Delancy Street.

NEW YORK -- A man who apparently fell from the subway platform at the Delancy Street station into the path of an approaching F train is recovering at Bellevue Hospital.
Transit officials said the 55-year-old man, who has not been identified, was lucky not to be hit by the train Tuesday.
The F train operator hit the brakes afer seeing the man tumble to the tracks, but two cars passed over him before the train stopped, officials said.
The man had landed in between the tracks and suffered only scrapes and bruises.

As murders and shootings in Clarendon increase, the police there have widened the scope of their operation with help from the Mobile Reserve.

The police are now focussing their operations on several hot spots in the parish. In a pre-dawn swoop on Sunday, a firearm was recovered and several men from the Canaan Heights community detained.

The men have since been released.

Since last Thursday, tension has gripped the community of Effortville, at a section called Buzz Rock, which is just two miles from the capital May Pen.

Two persons, including a 14-year-old student, were killed and five others hospitalised. Three of those in hospital are children. Their mother joins is one of the injured.

The first flare-up occurred Thursday night at 8:30 when 44-year-old Michael Thomas, otherwise called Malcolm, a reputed area leader, was killed outside his house by unknown assailants.

A 43-year-old mother and her four children - aged six, 10, 11 and 14 - were shot on Saturday at 12:05 in reprisal for Thomas' death.

Police reports confirmed that men, impersonating police, kicked open the door of the dwelling where the mother and her four children lived, in search of a family member whom they believe is linked to Thomas' death.

dis yute and him woman deh trelawny a party so dem decide fi tek a quick f u c k so dem guh up inna di bush near by so while dem having SEX man stick dem up and seh to di boy hurry up caz a my time nex .....di yute shit up himself on spot and di gunman laff and seh nyam dat else u girl a dead ....guess wah di yute do ????      
nyam it to b o mboclaaat......SERIOUS STORY !!!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL IF A ME DAT RAAAS GIRL A DEAD I NAAH NYAM NOO SHIT !!!!

 BEIJING,  (Xinhuanet) -- A Japanese man was arrested for hara**ing a food company by calling its toll-free number 500 times in 16 months, media reported on Tuesday.

    The 38-year-old plumber, who was arrested on Sunday, made 3,100 hours worth of free calls to the company, costing it almost 38,730 U.S. dollars in phone bills, a police spokesman in Takasaki, northwest of Tokyo, said.

    The plumber was quoted as saying that he wanted to hear the woman's voice on the automated tape.

    "He gets excited by the woman's voice on the guidance tape," the spokesman said, adding that the voice sounded normal to the detective who was involved in the investigation.

Come Discover Jamaica, a country of sun-drenched beaches, warm tropical breezes and rich cultural heritage. DiscoverJamaica.com works hard to bring you the best possible vacation guide for your lifestyle. If you are planning a trip to Jamaica make us your first stop for information. Montego Bay, or Mo Bay as it is popularly known, is deservedly one of the most famous tourist destinations in the world. Over the years it has attracted the rich and the famous and has been the haunt of royalty. Ocho Rios, or "Ochee" as it is known locally, is the second major tourist town on the north coast with a wide range of accomodation, excellent beaches, airstrip and modern cruise facilities. Each year it attracts more than 700,000 tourists. Negril was 'discovered' by the hippies who set up a colony in the 1960s. This town has a laid back attitude, which is complemented by some of the world's most beautiful beaches. Its waters offer world-class diving and a wealth of watersports. Mandeville is the chief town of Manchester parish, Jamaica's mountain resort, the island's largest hill town and the fifth largest urban centre. Only 64 miles away from Kingston, Mandeville has a charm - and a climate - all of its own, as if it has been sheltered against all developments in the capital. Kingston is the capital and the commercial, administrative and cultural heart of the island. It is the largest English speaking city in the Caribbean, has the seventh largest natural harbour in the world, and lies on a wide plain with the sea to the south and the St. Andrew Mountain as it backdrop to the north. Port Antonio is on the the island's northcoast and is a charming blend of old and new. It was Jamaica's first tourist resort, and is a favourite resort for writers and artists. Robin Moore is said to have written the 'French Connection' while sitting under a mango tree in his yard. On the quiet side of Jamaica, St. Elizabeth boasts an incredibly diverse terrain. There are deserted beaches all along the southern coastline with picturesque fishing villages and small sandy coves hidden among the rocks.

A cow thief was sentenced to 18 months imprisonment at hard labour on Wednesday.

Earl Gordon and Kirk McClaughlin, both of New Garden, St Andrew, appeared in the Corporate Area Resident Magistrate's Court to answer to a larceny charge.

McClaughlin was, however, freed after no evidence was presented against him. Gordon admitted being the thief, but claimed McClaughlin told him to do it.

The complainant told the court that Gordon was a known cow thief and when he discovered his cow was stolen, he immediately felt that the accused was the culprit.

The court heard that the complainant left a cow tied to his gate and the following morning it was missing. The complainant allegedly followed footprints that led to Gordon's house.

Animal found

When he confronted him about the cow, Gordon took him to the spot where he had the animal.

Fellow accused, McClaughlin, told the court that Gordon asked him to do something for him and he refused. He said he was at home the day the cow was found, when he heard that Gordon said he (McClaughlin) stole a cow and that people were planning to kill him. He said he went to the police station where he saw Gordon and asked him why he was accusing him, when he knew nothing about the cow.

He said his babymother could attest to the fact that he was at home all night and the next day and so could not have taken the cow. After listening to both sides, RM Glen Brown made a no order against McClaughlin, and sentenced Gordon. "You admit that you took the cow, you admit that you and him planned it, the only thing I can do is give you 18 months imprisonment," RM Brown told him.

SECOND MESA Police have arrested a man they say pretended to be a new employee at a 7-Eleven so he could learn to use the cash register and steal its contents.

Police said the man was trained how to use the cash register at the Mesa store on April 27 after falsely claiming he was a new employee.

The suspect returned to the store twice that day to make purchases. On the final visit, the clerk commented on his photo ID when the suspect was trying to buy beer, and the man allegedly pulled a gun and forced the woman into a bathroom.

Police said the suspect pretended to be the store clerk and was helping customers when the real clerk broke free and emerged with a gun. The man fled with stolen money, police said.

Marc Antoine Stovall, 21, was arrested Monday in Phoenix and was booked for investigation of armed robbery, kidnapping and third-degree burglary. He admitted to the crime during an interview with investigators and was in jail Tuesday, Mesa police spokesman Christopher Arvayo said.

It was not known whether he had been assigned an attorney.

NEW YORK (AP)  -- Authorities say a Staten Island mother faces misdemeanor charges after allegedly leaving her three children alone and hungry amid cockroaches and rat droppings.

The defendant, 29-year-old Chikenya Collier, says she went on a quick deli run while the children, ages 10, 9 and 3, were in bed. But police say she was gone over two hours, and that the 9-year-old was spotted down the block, hungrily eyeing a vending machine.

Collier says the kids had access to bread and noodles; police say they only found old meat and moldy ice cream.

She faces three counts of child endangerment.

A neighbor, Harvey Thillet, says Collier is a "lovely person" and takes good care of her children.

hey zone as me seh pree ya pic ya o d teacha....pay close attention 2 d ring!!!!

PLOVER, Wis. - Jason Dorshorst thought somebody ripped off his $4,000 wheelchair in broad daylight while he washed his pickup truck. It turns out that a good Samaritan took it to keep it from being stolen.

Dorshorst, 26, of Plover, washed his vehicle Monday at Speedy Clean Car Wash. He left the custom-made wheelchair outside the business so it wouldn't get wet during the six-minute cleaning.

It vanished in that short time.

"My first thought was, 'Why would somebody ever do that?'" said Dorshorst, who was injured in a 2003 motorcycle accident and needs a wheelchair to complete day-to-day tasks. "I've never heard of anyone's wheelchair disappearing."

He added, "It's pretty low for somebody to do that."

But Plover Policeman Brent Thauer said Wednesday the chair wasn't stolen.

A woman who arrived at the car wash while Dorshorst was inside saw the chair and assumed it was lost or abandoned, he said. Her father works with disabled people, and she grabbed the chair hoping he could find the rightful owner, Thauer said.

The father saw news reports of the alleged theft, realized what happened and contacted police, Thauer said.

"It's good to know there are people around who do the right thing," the officer said.

ATHENS (Reuters) - Four Moldovan women accidentally violated a 1,000-year-old ban on females entering the all male monastic community of Mount Athos, when they were left on Greek shores by human traffickers.

Police said Monday the women -- aged between 27 and 32 -- as well as a 41-year-old Moldovan man were smuggled from Turkey by boat to the Greek Orthodox community of 20 monasteries, long off limits to women. The reached land Sunday.

"They told police and the monks they were sorry but they couldn't have known this was a no-women area," said a police officer, who declined to be named. "They were forgiven."

Monks spotted the women late Sunday and alerted police. Under Greek law, the violation of the ban on women on Mount Athos, considered Orthodox Christianity's spiritual home, is illegal and can be punished with up to two years in jail.

TOKYO (AP) A money-losing Japanese train company has found the purr-fect pet mascot to draw crowds and bring back business tabby Tama.

All the 9-year-old female cat does is sit by the entrance of Kishi Station in western Japan, wearing a black uniform cap and posing for photos for the tourists who are now flocking in droves from across the nation.

Tama has been doing such a good job of raising revenue for the troubled Kishikawa train line that she was recently promoted to "super-station-master."

"She never complains, even though passengers touch her all over the place. She is an amazing cat. She has patience and charisma," Wakayama Electric Railway Co. spokeswoman Yoshiko Yamaki told The Associated Press Monday. "She is the perfect station master."

Appointing a cat to turn around fortunes makes cultural sense in Japan, where cats are considered good luck and are believed to bring in business.

People are snatching up novelty goods postcards, erasers, notebooks and pins decorated with Tama's photos. There's even a special 1,365 yen ($13) book of photos of Tama called, "Diary of Tama, the Station Master."

Tama had been on the brink of losing her place to live, with the nearby store where she was raised being torn down. Now, the station is home.

Kishi Station started running without any workers in April 2006 as part of cost cuts.

The Kishikawa line had been losing 500 million yen ($4.9 million) a year as passenger numbers fell steadily to as low as about 5,000 a day, or some 1.9 million a year.

After Tama's appointment last year passengers have been gradually returning, recently rising 10 percent to about 2.1 million a year.

In December Tama was rewarded with bonus pay all in cat food.

Glenroy Sinclair and Mark Beckford, Gleaner Reporters

Fed up with the number of senseless killings in the constituency of Central Kingston which have left their students traumatised, several teachers yesterday journeyed from the Holy Family Primary School to the Jamaica Teachers' Association headquarters on Church Street, crying out for help.

They made the journey a day after some of them staged a sit-in, protesting the violence that has gripped the community.

Mother killed

Last week, Marcia Newby, who accompanied her child to school, was killed by gunmen on her way back home. Yesterday, four more persons were shot, three fatally, in other sections of central Kingston.

Between Monday night and yesterday afternoon, at least eight persons were shot between Allman Town and the Southside/Tel-Aviv areas of central Kingston.

Kenneth Robinson, 52, was killed along Laws Street about 11:55 a.m. yesterday. About 2:50 p.m. Derrick Gray, 42, was shot and killed by gunmen on George's Lane, and an hour and a half later a female, who was unidentified up to press time, was killed on Hitchen Street in Allman Town.

Teachers traumatised

The killings have prompted scores of fearful parents to keep their young ones at home, instead of sending them to school.

"The teachers are really traumatised," said Cecile Palmer, principal of the Holy Family Primary School, located on Laws Street in Southside.

Attendance at the school has been low. There are reports that students living in Tel-Aviv are in fear.

"One morning I had to drive through that part of the community and pick up about 20 students in my van and take them across to school," the principal said.

Chairman of the school, deacon Oswald Tie, described the situation as very sad. He has spoken to the political representatives, who are in dialogue with the security forces.

Reprisal killings common

Although police statistics show that three persons were killed for the month of March in the Central Kingston Police Division, many more Jamaicans have been killed since then, with shootings and reprisals being common.

Four months into the year, already more than 480 persons have been murdered since January. Police statistics released yesterday for the first three months showed that 370 persons were killed over the period.

Persons with information, please call the central Kingston police at 922-4848 or 922-0421.
Murders for the first quarter, 2006-2008

	2008	2007	2006
Jan	140	148	117
Feb	104	97	100
Mar	126	123	97

ST. JOHNS COUNTY, Fla. -- A St. Augustine man is selling containers filled with what he describes as ghosts.

John Deese said he has ghosts trapped in bottles.This was actually the first one that was caught, in Decatur County, Ga., in an old farmhouse, Desse said, showing off one ghost in a bottle.While Deese said he contracts with professional ghost catchers around the country and that its the ghost catchers who actually stuff the phantasms into a bottle, he wouldnt elaborate on exactly how the ghosts get into the bottles.Well, if you went to KFC, you wouldn't ask for secret recipe, Deese said. Theyll go in and catch them from haunted establishments, cars, hotels, maybe even graveyards.Whether supernatural or just a spooky novelty, the ghosts in bottles come with a warning -- open at your own risk.Some people will open the bottle and say they dont get results and its just a fun conversation piece. Others say, Theres strange things happening in my house. Where're my car keys? Where's the remote to the TV? Deese said. The ghost in the bottle is more toward Casper the Friendly Ghost than the Exorcist. We're kind of in the middle.Ghosts in bottles are available online at AGhostInABottle.com